


A Gift From Atlantis

by respoftw



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Community: picfor1000, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 04:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9802820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: Rodney had found the device their first month on Atlantis, stuffed in a box in what would become science lab four.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the picfor1000 challenge on livejournal. My pic assignment can be found [HERE](https://www.flickr.com/photos/isabelle_puaut/31725511134/)

Rodney had found the device their first month on Atlantis, stuffed in a box in what would become science lab four.  He had dutifully catalogued it and placed it in a different box of unidentified Ancient devices to be looked at more closely when they weren’t too busy trying to keep the city from falling down around them.

That box had ended up gathering dust in his rarely used office, occasionally catching his eye and reminding him that he really should assign someone to look through it.  He eventually handed the box off to Gaul only to find it sitting on his desk, accusingly, _after._

If asked, he’d blame his grief for activating the device without another person present.  He was lucky it hadn’t caused his brains to dribble out his ears.

The device looked like nothing more than a pair of night vision goggles, fitting snugly over the head and, probably, making him look ridiculous.  In actuality, the device was infinitely more complex and infinitely cooler.

At first, he thought the device was some sort of memory playback device.  The first time he wore the device, he watched their arrival on Atlantis.  It was only when he saw the detail that he would never have been able to have noticed, even subconsciously, that he began to suspect that it was something very different altogether.

Rodney spent a full day inside the device, watching an expedition that was ever so slightly different than his own play out behind his eyes.

The first difference was the death of Jinto.  The energy being that he had released so early on had consumed him, draining the energy out of him as effectively as any Wraith.  The Athosians left Atlantis after that, settling somewhere far away and spreading tales of how the new people who had taken the city of the Ancients were not to be trusted.

Teyla left with them.

Teyla’s place on their team was taken by Stackhouse - or was it Markham? Rodney had never been able to tell them apart and he wasn’t going to start now.  Not when it wasn’t real, only an alternate life that made him realise how much worse off they could be.  

It wasn’t just the distrust of the entire Pegasus Galaxy or the way the ‘other’ Kolya had cut the ‘other’ Rodney’s arm in such a way that the nerve damage condemned him to a life of chronic pain that couldn’t be touched by Carson’s best drugs.  No.  The worst thing about this Atlantis was the way that the ‘other’ John barely tolerated him.

He was good enough to be on this Sheppard’s team, yes, but the friendship, the _intimacy_ that Rodney shared with his own John was missing.  Rodney imagined that would hurt more deeply than the nerve damage ever could.

After his day in the device, Rodney felt a little better about his own decisions, his own circumstances, and, even though he still felt guilty over the deaths of Abrams and Gaul, when John appeared in his office at the end of the day and insisted that he come back to their room, Rodney did.

Heightmeyer probably would have called the device a coping mechanism, although she would likely use more words to say it.  She certainly would have been concerned about Rodney’s decision not to tell anyone about the device but he pushed that thought from his head.  Nobody needed to know about it; it was a curiosity, nothing more.  He hid it in the bottom of a box, under a pile of physics papers, largely forgotten, only taken out every so often, usually after a bad day to show himself how truly bad things could have gone.

Rodney found himself appreciative of his day to day in a way that he hadn’t been since he was a kid with no worries bigger than mastering the tricky acciaccatura before his next lesson.  Even John commented on his sudden change in outlook.  

It wasn’t all the device.  John really did deserve some of the credit.  Rodney couldn’t remember a time when he was as satisfied, as content.  Sure, he lived in fear of his life multiple times a week but, if their recent return to Earth taught him anything it was that he wasn’t cut out for a normal life anymore.

John had changed him.  For the better.

The other Atlantis lost Ford during the Siege, too. And gained Ronon a few weeks later.  The other Cadman faded from the other Rodney’s mind before they could fix things.  Rodney hated the way the way the other John looked at him like he was a coward; like _he_ should have let go instead of her.

He held his own John close that night and any tears that fell were absorbed by the pillow anyway.

_ Doranda. _

If Rodney thought his own life was bad, it was nothing compared to other Rodney’s.

The other John remained blue and scaly.  Rodney’s heart ached for him.

Wraith enzyme turned out to be the only drug that got close to making the other Rodney’s pain bearable and Rodney watched with horror as his other self descended into addiction.

He thanked whatever higher power existed for his own existence every day.

Then the real John died in the time dilation field before Rodney could figure out a way to rescue him.

Rodney didn’t remember much of the week that followed that.  His first clear memory following the discovery was of pulling the device out of its hiding place and placing it on his head.

The other John was alive.   _Wonderfully alive._

Rodney didn’t care that he was blue, didn’t care that John could barely tolerate the other him, didn’t care that Ronon had died in John’s place.

He pressed the sole button that was attached to the device.  He had always been so careful to keep away from it before.

Rodney sat back in his chair, and closed his eyes, and waited for the pain and need to overtake him.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Also, this fic owes a lot to the wonderful Neil Gaiman short story 'The Wedding Present' whose plot device I kind of borrowed here (the story in his Smoke and Mirrors collection if you want to read it!)


End file.
